One Big Happy Superpowered Family
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: a series of one-shots depicting household life in the JLA mansion. tons of humor, fluff and hilarity for everyone
1. Addams Family This Aint

**One Big, Happy, Crowded Superpowered Family**

 **Chapter 1**

"Good morning my darlings" Hippolyta said cheerfully, coming into the living room

"Morning Mommy" Dinah said sweetly, giving Hippolyta a kiss on the cheek

"So… has anyone noticed what Saturday is?" Hippolyta asked

"Uh… I don't know. The new episode of SNL?" Hal asked

"no silly. Your father's birthday" Hippolyta said, giggling

"oh. Well last night Daddy didn't seem very happy about turning a year older" Jade remarked

"well your father does tend to get a little pessimistic about his birthday, so that's why it's our job to cheer him up" Hippolyta said

"hey honey, hey kiddos" Harvey said, coming into the room

"hi Daddy" Kara and Alex said, both giving him a hug

"so… anyone got any plans for today?" Two-Face asked

"well… I got my workout later" Kyle answered

"I get audited by the IRS" Hush piped up

"I have to teach art class again" Jade chimed in

"well honey, the twins really wanna buy that new Star Wars movie later" Hippolyta said

"ok, after school, I'll go pick 'em up and take 'em to the store so we can get it" Two-Face replied

"guys, Jason's locked himself in the bathroom again!" Nightwing hollered

"with the meds and stuff?" Helena asked

"yup" Nightwing answered

"don't worry, I got this" Black Mask said, getting up as he went over to console his demented nephew

"oy… I have such a hangover" Question slurred, slumping down on the couch

"I TOLD you having that beer bong contest last week was a bad idea" Wally remarked

"well it's instinct, you know? You gotta get it over with quick. It's like getting hit in the head with a crowbar" Question said

"I HEARD THAT" Red Hood bellowed

"hey guys" Hawkgirl yawned, staggering in

"about time you got up. What took ya so long?" Giganta asked

"well, John and I had, well…" Hawkgirl started

"ok, ok, say no more" Hal quickly said, not wanting Shayera to discuss this inappropriate subject in front of the younger siblings

…

"well Dinah and the twins are down for their nap" Helena said

"oh good. I can hear them snoring" Hippolyta said, reading her latest parenting magazine

"oy, it's so hot in here" Helena panted, fanning herself with her hat

"well darling, you can always turn up the AC" Hippolyta replied

"yes, but keep in mind that we DO have a fire-lover in the house and…" Huntress started

"oh, I see what's troubling you dear" Hippolyta realized, turning down the heat

"thanks Mommy" Huntress said, hugging Hippolyta

"you're welcome big girl" Hippolyta cooed, kissing Helena on the forehead

"I better go check on the girls, see that they're still asleep" Helena said, going upstairs

"oh hi Linda, how was your day?" Hippolyta asked

"exhausting. Very, very, VERY exhausting. Meetings, audits, bill paying, ugh… it was a total zoo in there" Linda panted, plopping down on the sofa

"here honey, drink this" Hippolyta said, pouring Linda a glass of water

"thanks Ma" Linda replied, drinking her water and putting the glass as Linda closed her eyes and fell asleep, snoring

"ok, I'm back" Two-Face said, coming back from the grocery store

"hey honey. Did you get the pizza the kids ordered?" Hippolyta asked

"you betcha, plus Bruno threw in some cinnamon breadsticks" Two-Face replied

"alright, now we're talking" Green Arrow said excitedly, Star Sapphire holding him back from the food

"not so fast, Mr. Eager McEater" Star Sapphire said, before giggling

"I just made a joke" Star Sapphire said to the camera

"Yeah, yeah hahaha very funny" Green Arrow quipped sarcastically

…

"happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Harvey, happy birthday to you" everyone sang happily as Two-Face blew out the candles on his birthday cake, now officially 33 years old

"happy birthday dear" Hippolyta said, kissing her husband on the cheek

"happy birthday Dad, I'm so glad you got custody of me in that lawsuit" Robin said, earning a glare from his sisters

"he is such a kiss-ass" Kara whispered to Alex

"tell me about it" Alex smirked

"gee thanks a lot son. By the way, why are you wearing a Steven Universe shirt?" Two-Face asked

"uh-oh" Robin whimpered

"he's gonna slap him" Dinah giggled

"how many times have I gotta say it, son? You just need to ACT LIKE A MAN" Two-Face hollered, slapping Robin

"hey! That's MY running… oh wait, it's your birthday. Ok, ok you can do that" Black Mask said

"thanks Roman" Harvey said, handing his brother a slice of his cake

"gee, thanks bro. you got any wine?" Roman asked

"here. Got some Chianti" Hippolyta said, handing Roman an expensive bottle of Chianti

"gee, I wonder if this was drank by Hannibal Lecter…" Black Mask joked, everyone cracking up

"what the hey is all this?" Batman asked curmudgeonly

"Aaand now the party's over" Green Arrow smirked, earning a slap up the head from Huntress

"it's my birthday Bats. By the way, you missed the cake" Two-Face said

"eh, that's alright. I just wanna thank you again" Batman said

"sure, for what?" Two-Face asked

"for taking that pathetic, nerdy sissy mary Drake in that lawsuit" Batman said

"wow… as I recall, you were really upset about it at first. You, uh… you blew up the judge's car" Two-Face added

"he did WHAT?" Catwoman gasped

"hey you weren't there Selina! You was out in Cancun havin that fling" John retorted

"oh, right" Catwoman realized

"ok who wants presents?" Hippolyta asked in her cheerful sing-song voice

"Is it the cyanide I ordered?" Bats asked

"Ohhoho you're such a kidder!" Hippolyta chuckled, Batman's blank expression now an irritated glare

"I wanna die. Why wont somebody shoot me?" Batman groveled as Hush dragged him to the living room

…

"wow! The complete collection of Law & Order! Thanks a bunch, Hush" Two-Face replied

"well, we all know how much you admire Sam Waterson" Hush commented

"and well, how about that? The complete collection of House MD" Two-Face exclaimed

"wait a second, didn't you get that for me after I got my medical diploma?" Hush asked

"yeah" Two-Face answered honestly

"eh, that's ok" Hush said

"and I got you something, dear" Hippolyta said, Harvey opening the gift to reveal a brand new dual-colored suit

"this…this is beautiful! Honestly, this is the best family party ever! I wanna thank all of you for doing this. It… it really makes me happy" Two-Face said, shedding joyful tears as everyone gave him a group hug

"I feel squashed" Robin squeaked

"hush up Drake. We're having a family moment" Roy hissed

…

"well dear? Are our wild untamed teenage daughters down?" Hippolyta asked

"yes. After an agonizing two hour period, yes" Two-Face sighed, getting under the covers

"happy birthday Mr. Attorney" Hippolyta said sexily, kissing her husband

"thank you Ms. Social Worker" Two-Face replied back, kissing his wife lovingly on the lips

"Mom! Dad! Jason's locked himself in the bathroom again with all the cold medicine" Batgirl shouted

"you wanna handle this, dear?" Hippolyta asked

"eh, why not? I am man of the house, after all" Two-Face said, getting out of bed, unaware that his wife was admiring his rear end

"hehehehe I got him all to myself" Hippolyta chuckled, as she went to sleep with a lustful smile on her face


	2. Whole Lotta Craziness Goin On

**One Big Happy Superpowered Family**

 **Chapter 2**

"hey bro?" Zsasz asked, poking his head into his brother's office

"yes Victor, what can I do for you?" Hush asked warmly

"remember that trouble we had with that Dial to LA phone line?" Zsasz asked

"yes, I do indeed. Why?" Hush asked, Zsasz handing him the bill which read **$1,200,000,000,000**

"bro?" Zsasz asked as Hush's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he fainted

"oops, I probably should've waited to do this in Chapter 3" Zsasz said to the camera

…

"Great Hera, look at all this money! Are you absolutely positively HONEST this was from our Los Angeles vacation 5 years ago?" Diana asked

"yes sis, it is. I found it in my mail this morning. On the envelope address it had three important letters" Zsasz said

"uh-oh" Kara and Alex said in unison

"not the IRS, anything but the IRS! They taxed me after I had that concussion" Red Hood blubbered

"um, Jason, that's not exactly what happened" Diana said, bracing herself for her demented brother's savage reply

"Whaddya saying?" Red Hood asked

"Joker got you heavily drunk, used fake explosives which did NOT blow up the warehouse, had Sheila sent to a carnival, oh and he buried you under chocolate cake" Diana explained

"so THAT explains why Dinah was licking me after I came out of my coma…" Red Hood realized

"that's the silliest thing I ever heard" Batman cackled

"yeah laugh it up, bat-jerk. If it wasn't for clown boy, I'd be buried under broccoli or worse… sushi" Red Hood snapped, dramatic music blaring

"can we focus on the plot, please?" Diana asked

"well sweetie, we always have side plots. This is a sitcom, after all" Hawkgirl remarked

…

"so…you two bozos racked up a million zillion dollar phone bill which has now given those greedy red-tape IRS bastards permission to come in here and repossess everything we own and now you two bozos are expecting ME to help YOU guys fix this, right?" Great White Shark asked

"yup" Zsasz answered

"well, I haven't done any… clean slate work since that job back in '09" Great White Shark recalled

"what job?" Zsasz asked

"eh-eh-eh, you don't wanna know" Great White Shark remarked

"listen Warren, the IRS gave us five days to solve this problem or else" Hush said

"or else what?" Great White Shark asked

"…I don't think you wanna know that answer, pal" Hush replied

"well I'm gonna need to talk to some of my boys from work and I'll have this all settled" Great White Shark said confidently

"many thanks Warren" Hush said, him and Zsasz shaking Warren's hand as they left his office. As soon as the door closed, Warren dialed a private number and grabbed the phone

"yeah?" the voice answered

"hey Johnny. It's me your boss Warren. Yeah, that's right, I work with Hippolyta. Yes, the Amazon dame, that's her. Listen, buddy, I guess you're wondering why I called at this time a' the night. You see, my brothers, they're in a bit of trouble with those IRS assholes and… it's about a great motherload of money. So I need you, Guillermo, Soames, Gunn and Bruno to 'take care' of the problem, but hey; do it quietly, ok? I don't want Hippolyta or anyone else to hear 'bout this. Yes, yes. Alright, the IRS' main front is in Los Angeles. Get there by car and get it done ASAP. Am I understood? Ok, good, I'll give you further instructions tomorrow" Great White Shark said as he hung up the phone and laid back in his lawn chair, smoking his cigar in delight as soon as there was a knock on the door

"come in" Warren said politely, putting his cigar out as who else showed up but Hippolyta

"hello Warren dear" Hippolyta said softly, wearing her favorite blue nightgown

"good evening Your Highness. How might I help you?" Warren asked, cracking his knuckles

"I heard you contacted your old colleagues to handle my sons' little money problem, am I right?" Hippolyta asked

"yes, that is correct. I think you should also be happy to know that the ammo in their guns are blank. Trust me, there'll be no spilled blood" Warren assured confidently

"well I appreciate your honesty, darling. By the way, if you're not too busy tomorrow, could you take Dinah and Courtney to the dentist, please?" Hippolyta asked sweetly

"it'd be my pleasure" Warren said, as he got up and headed for the door but then allowed Hippolyta to leave

"ladies first" Warren said politely

"thank you. Such a gentleman" Hippolyta said sweetly, kissing Warren's cheek as she walked out

"mm-mmm, Dent definitely picked a good one" Warren said to the camera  
…

"hey honey, apparently there's this really zippy story in the paper this morning. It says in LA an IRS office was peppered with blanks and the IRS agents were pepper-sprayed and cuffed to a tree naked. It also says here that the office was sued for negligence, bribery and extortion" Two-Face said the next morning at breakfast

"huh. That IS very odd indeed" Hippolyta remarked, making funny faces at Dinah as she fed her

"well, guess the IRS wont be dealing with us anytime soon" Two-Face said

…

"goodnight America" Ryan Seacrest said in the final telecast of American Idol, Huntress, Green Arrow, Kara, Alex and the others watching. But as the lights dimmed, a voice ominously said "for now"

"oh my sweet Jesus" Killer Croc gasped

"well…that was kinda creepy" Huntress commented

"what does it mean, sissy?" Kara asked

"I dunno honey" Alex answered, rocking Kara to sleep

"hmmm… the way he said it… I think…oh…oh…oh…" Red Hood gasped, chuckling madly

"what on Hera are you getting worked up about THIS time?" Donna asked in annoyance

"if he talks about that crowbar ONE MORE TIME…" Green Arrow grumbled

"I think it's gonna be rebooted" Red Hood exclaimed, everyone giving him a weird look

"are you for real, man? They clearly said this was the series finale" Green Arrow snapped

"yes, that's exactly WHAT they THINK they're saying…" Red Hood emphasized

"oh geez, here we go…" Hush moaned, listening to more of Red Hood's nutty conspiracy theories

"I gotta do some research on this" Red Hood said excitedly, rushing to his laboratory

"since when did he have a lab?" Huntress asked

"eh, after The Question disappeared, Red Hood's now our alcoholic/maniac/conspiracy nut" Hush answered

"so THAT explains why his room is filled with all the JFK assassination stuff" Kara said

"yeah, and also why he has that weird UFO license plate" Alex chimed in

"it's the Illuminati. THEY WILL RESURRECT AMERICAN IDOL" Red Hood babbled crazily

"shut up and go to bed, you're drunk" Green Arrow snapped, knocking Red Hood out

…

"oh my Hera, that movie was absolutely hilarious" Hippolyta chuckled in amusement, as she and the others came home after seeing The Boss

"I need a frickin' bourbon to put up with that fat lady's mouth" Black Mask grumbled

"I didn't understand anything" Kara said goofily, Alex rolling her eyes

"yeah, I'd figure. Come on, bedtime" Alex said, carrying a giggling Kara upstairs

"…you just HAD to let her have a large soda before bed, didn't you" Two-Face said, giving Hippolyta a look of disgust

"oops" Hippolyta said sheepishly

"oh look, Saturday Night Live's on next" Hawkgirl said excitedly

"oh my lord, seriously? We got home from seeing one raunchy comedy, could this night get ANY crazier?" Black Mask griped to the heavens

"Dad! Mom! Jason's locked himself in the bathroom with all his medicine" Batgirl hollered

"oh, for the love of Bob Kane, not again…" Two-Face grumbled

"hey. How was the movie?" Hush asked, him and Zsasz coming back

"it was the best movie I'd seen since Deadpool" Nightwing replied, eating a corn dog

"ok Kara and Alex are asleep" Jade said, coming back

"good. Is Dinah down?" Hippolyta asked

"yes. Helena's with her" Jade answered

"oh geez, it is so damn cold out" Killer Croc complained

"what are you griping about? You're indoors, for crying out loud" Black Mask snarled

…

"Bruce, this is the fifth time I've asked, can you PLEASE clean up your room?" Hippolyta asked as she was nursing Dinah

"ugh, fine…" Batman grumbled, stomping up the steps

"oh my, he's such a troubled boy…" Hippolyta sighed before making funny faces at Dinah and bopping her nose playfully

"honey?" Two-Face's voice hollered

"yes dear?" Hippolyta replied, having tucked Dinah in for her nap

"the plumbing's backed up again. Can you call Roto-Rooter and have 'em fix this?" Two-Face responded

"of course dear" Hippolyta said quickly, handing Dinah her teddy and kissing her goodnight as she closed the door and dialed the phone number for the plumbing company

…

"Mmm….oh…ooh…yes, yes, that's it…ohhh…ooh…" Jade mumbled in her sleep, snoring softly until Kyle woke her up

"oh dammit Kyle, you woke me up from my nap! I dreamed I was kissing Matt Dallas" Jade pouted

"sweetie… Matt Dallas is gay" Kyle explained

"…oh" Jade said in realization

"hey guys, what's new?" Hal said, coming in with a bowl of cheese balls

"oh Hal, really? We're about to have dinner in 5 minutes" Jade said

"oh, stop worrying so much sis. Don't you know everything's alright, yes, everything's fine…" Hal started

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1…" Jade counted down just as Livewire made her totally overdramatic entrance

Livewire:

 **Woman**

 **Your fine ointment**

 **Brand new and expensive**

 **Should have been saved for the poor**

 **Why has it been wasted?**

 **We could've raised maybe**

 **300 silver pieces or more**

 **People who are hungry**

 **People who are starving**

 **They matter more**

 **Than your feet**

 **And HAAAAAAAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

"…wow" Hal said as he, Jade and Kyle had their ears popped from Livewire's very, very loud performance

"hoo boy, another rainy day. Whoop de frigging doo" Black Mask grumbled

"gee, why's Roman Mr. Grouchy Pants?" Jade asked, receiving a dirty look from Black Mask

"oops" Jade whimpered

"yeah, oops. Don't let me hear you talking about me behind my back ever again" Black Mask growled

…

"the new Ghostbusters movie looks like crap" Red Hood said

"what?" Huntress said

"I said the new Ghostbusters reboot looks like crap. Basically it's the 1st movie all over again with four women" Red Hood explained

"yeah. But it's Melissa McCarthy and the ladies from SNL" Huntress added

"yeah, but don't you get it? Since Harold Ramis died, the chances of a successful Ghostbusters reboot are down to nil" Red Hood said

"oh, ok. I get it" Huntress said, understanding

"ok kids, who wants to go see Jungle Book with me and Dinah?" Hippolyta asked in a singsong voice

"me" Alex and Supergirl chimed

"I'll pass" Red Hood deadpanned, taking a swig of his beer

"Jason, you are going whether you like it or not" Hippolyta said sternly, grabbing Jason by the ear and dragging him to the car

…

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…" Red Hood snored loudly during the movie

…

"well, THAT was definitely something" Green Arrow remarked, coming back from the movie

"yeah. Who would've thought Kaa would be voiced by Black Widow?" Nightwing added

"eh, I thought it was really cute" Hawkgirl said

"you're kidding, right? It was rated PG for scary scenes and peril" Huntress said

"ok, so it was. But come on, we all had fun" Hippolyta said

"oh yes. I finally got Kara to take a nap because she wouldn't stop singing the Bare Necessities" Alex moaned, carrying a snoring Kara upstairs, Red Hood about to sing until he saw the evil eye Alex gave him

"so, y'all finally saw that dumb animal movie, huh?" Two-Face said, coming in

"yes dear, we did" Hippolyta said as she sat in the rocking chair, nursing Dinah

"good. Now that all this Jungle Book mania's done with, we can finally sit down, relax and…" Two-Face said, opening the newspaper when as if on cue

"ok, I got tickets to see The Huntsman: Winter's War" Livewire announced cheerfully

"oh for the love of Bob Kane, Alan Moore, Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster" Two-Face exclaimed, burying his head in his hands

"well, guess he couldn't get a word in edgewise" Hippolyta remarked to the camera

…

"Jones, for the fifth time, can you PLEASE clean up the grill?" Black Mask complained

"Uno momento, monsieur. I'm in the middle of making my world-famous jambalaya" Killer Croc said, tasting a bit of his gumbo

"I give up" Black Mask grumbled, waving his hands in the air as he left in a huff

"is Croc making dinner?" Hippolyta asked

"no, he's ordering pizza" Black Mask said sarcastically

"ask a stupid question…" Hippolyta remarked to the camera

"ok Kara's finally asleep" Alex yawned tiredly, slugging into the kitchen like a zombie

"my goodness dear, are you ok?" Hippolyta asked, as she took Alex's temperature

"mmm… just so sleepy" Alex yawned, until Red Hood poured her a mug of A&W

"URRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP" Alex burped loudly, bouncing back into her cheerful energetic self

"geez-a-loo, THAT's what I call a burp" Hal remarked

…

"hey. How's it going?" Nightwing said cheerily to an extremely drowsy Alex later that night

"I finally put Kara to bed after watching two and a half hours of SpongeBob Squarepants" Alex yawned loudly, her eyes closing tight as she slumped against Nightwing's shoulder, a loud snore escaping her lips

"it's ok Dick, I'll go put her down" Amy said quickly, scooping Alex up as she walked up the stairs

….

"Zsasz! It's seven in the morning! What the hell are you doing?" Hush asked angrily as Zsasz started loading his' and Hush's luggage into their Corvette

"I got tickets to see Kenny Rogers in Concert in New Mexico" Zsasz said excitedly

"front row seats?" Hush asked, his interest piquing up

"oh yeah" Zsasz answered

"um… all you can eat and drink buffets and bars?" Hush asked eagerly, leaving a message for Sheila on his pillow as he dashed into the Corvette and buckled into the passenger seat

"yup. You in or out?" Zsasz asked, donning his aviator sunglasses as he started up the car

"you bet your huevos I am. Now let's roll brother" Hush answered, as the brothers sped down the highway


	3. Family Matters Justice League Style

**One Big Happy Superpowered Family**

 **Chapter 3**

"My goodness, Sheila seems quite upset this morning" Hippolyta said the following morning as she and the JLA clan had breakfast in their usual spot

"Apparently Hush and his idiot brother Zsasz stole my Corvette and drove off all the way to New Mexico to see some stupid Kenny Rogers concert" Red Hood murmured grouchily

"what's stupid about that? I LOVE Kenny Rogers. His singing voice, his beard, his clothes…." Vicki said, daydreaming like a lovesick puppy

"Permission to slap her silly?" Red Hood asked

"Permission denied, juvie boy" Two-Face barked, slapping him up the head

"oh this is just GREAT" Robin wailed

"well morning Timmy dear. What on Hera is the matter?" Hippolyta asked

"you remember my homeroom teacher Mrs. Wsalowski?" Robin asked

"you mean the crabby decrepit old Jewish hag that keeps insisting everyone in her class must be naked?" Green Arrow piped up

"no, no, that's the librarian Ms. Gotheel. She's been long since retired" Robin replied

"oh I know! It's Mrs. Hawley" Kara said eagerly

"yes, Kara, yes it is" Robin exhaled in disgust

"well what kinda crap has she assigned you with THIS time, boyo?" Two-Face asked

"look at this; I have to do a complete essay on the foundation of the Gettysburg Address all night. And if I fail, I wont be able to get my GPA plus I'll be expelled" Robin whined

"oh pfft, that's easy as pie, bud. I'm sure you'll pass it somehow" Alex chuckled, giving her brother a playful jab on the shoulder

"hold it right there missy. Your mother and I are gonna go over to that school of yours and have a little chit-chat with the staff" Two-Face commanded

"Dad, this REALLY isn't necessary, it's just a dumb essay" Robin moaned

"oh really? You're just gonna allow all those greedy red-tape book carrying, mathematician or whatchamacallit dirtbags walk all over you? Son, there comes a day when a boy must become a man. As far as I can recall, you have had that day for the past 255 stories and… so far, no such progress" Two-Face said

"gee, what a nice way to encourage me" Robin said sarcastically

"you listen to me boy; I didn't want to have a son who was feeling miserable and mopey about everything bad, especially if that jerk in the bat suit is always pushing you around and makin you do all kinds of stupid stuff. I want… I want you to be successful, son. Be like your brothers and sisters. Lemme ask you something: are you REALLY happy where you are at North End Gotham Junior High?" Two-Face asked

"well… to be honest, no, no I'm not" Robin said honestly

"aww… why is that honey?" Hippolyta asked, stroking Robin's hair

"oh geez, where to begin? The principal's a lying crook, the teachers are all wrinkled and ugly, the kids are always taunting me and stealing my books, plus the food is awful, the homework is hard, the seats are stale oh yeah and the windows are always open which always has all the bees and stuff come in" Robin exclaimed

"ok, dear, ok. Your father and I will transfer you to Jade's and Barbara's school. Would that be alright with you?" Hippolyta asked sweetly

"yes, Mom. Yes, I would greatly appreciate it. Mom… you're the best. I mean, sure, you do kinda creep me out, and you do insist on giving me the talk over and over… but… I love you. I mean, you're always there for me, my brothers and sisters. I just wanna thank you for this" Robin said, hugging his mother close

"awww I love you too my sweet boy" Hippolyta cooed, kissing Robin's forehead

…

"ahh, isn't this great? Just us two manly men, out riding the highways, with no baggage or nothin' just two bros out seein' America" Zsasz said as he and Hush continued their drive to New Mexico

"yes it is Victor. Yes it is. Say, wanna stop at that A&W root beer bar and… you know?" Hush asked lewdly

"you read my mind brother" Zsasz grinned, parking the car as the brothers got out and headed into the root beer bar, forgetting the fact that they didn't lock the car nor did they put the tickets in a safe place

…

"I called the two road morons fifteen times and no response. What the hell could they even be doing?" Jade griped

"just chill, would you? They're strong men. Besides, I'm sure they can handle themselves" Kyle said, reading his latest issue of Cheeseburgers & Milkshakes Monthly

"oh really? Like the time Zsasz got his head stuck in the freezer and you, me and Croc had to do a three-man job to get him out" Jade replied

"hey, baby, it's nothin' like that" Kyle said sheepishly

"oh woe is me" Robin whined pathetically, slumping onto the couch

"oh gee, what's up with Mr. Mopey THIS time?" Hawkgirl asked

"the Board denied my request to join Jade's and Barbara's school" Robin moaned, turning on the TV

"oh… we're so sorry" Jade said, hugging Robin close

"well… THAT's not the problem" Robin said

"what is it, sweetheart?" Huntress asked

"guess who my homeschool teacher is?" Robin whined, the answer dawning on everyone in horror

"Uh-oh…" both Kara and Alex said in unison

"Lesson 9777: How NOT to be such a Lazy, Insubordinate Loser" Batman spoke

"help me" Robin sobbed pathetically as Batman dragged him away

"Mommy! Daddy! You said Timmy would go to school with me" Jade cried

"we tried sweetie, we tried, but Superintendent Thomason forbade it" Hippolyta said sadly

"wait a minute… Maurice J. Thomason III is the Superintendent of North End Gotham District?" Two-Face asked

"yes dear, we saw him at the meeting tonight" Hippolyta replied

"he said my suit looked like garbage…" Two-Face said, before it hit him and he felt his anger rise

"that's IT! I'm gonna sue that lousy pathetic excuse for a school so I can get my boy a proper education" Two-Face bellowed, heading into his office

"DAD! This really is NOT what I had in mind" Robin whined pathetically

"no time for takebacks, sonny boy. I'm calling the school tomorrow and we're gonna sue the living pants and whatnot off of 'em, no ifs, ands or buts" Two-Face barked

"ohhh… why me?" Robin whined as Hippolyta comforted him

"Tim…" Black Mask started just as Robin glared at him

"I know, I know. You're gonna yell ACT LIKE A MAN and slap me like from that Godfather movie" Robin said, slapping himself and walking off in pride

"...huh. He finally grew a pair" Black Mask said in amazement

"hey come on. After 255 stories, you'd THINK it'd be time for some of us to develop?" Robin asked

…

"what the hell are you kooky kids watching now?" Two-Face asked, poking his head into Kara's and Alex's room

"some musical called Cinderella 2000. It's very funny and the songs are pretty catchy" Kara said, enthusiastically bopping her head to the beat

"and apparently the songs are even more infectious than SpongeBob" Alex muttered, taking a swig of her A&W root beer

 **This chapter is in loving memory of Doris Roberts**

 **Born 1925- died 2016**

 **RIP Marie Barone. You will truly be missed**


	4. Helena and Baby Kara

The sun shone brightly over the mirror of Helena's SUV as she drove down the roads, her eyes focused on the cargo in the back: her baby daughter Kara Maria Bertinelli, a very cute, chubby, happy, bouncy and just plain sweet 5 month old baby girl sleeping  
in her carseat, her pink I heart Mommy pacifier in her mouth.

Helena sighed fondly at how precious her little sunshine is. "Keep on sleepin babygirl, we're almost home, k?" Huntress cooed in a motherly tone. Fortunately, Kara obeyed and kept her eyes closed as Huntress picked her up and carried her into the house,  
up the stairs and into her room

"Ok, nighty night Kara Bear. Sweet dreams!" Huntress cooed, planting lots of kisses on Karas forehead


End file.
